Perceived Failure-The Greatest Catalyst to Change: All Mighty Push and Pull

Think of a rock for the metaphor here.  A rock is typically satisfied in its position, and is only moved to another position or location if it is either pushed or pulled by some force.  A fundamental law of physics is that an object moves when it is either faced with a force that pushes it or a force that pulls it.  It’s really not that different for people.  Often, individuals move (in the sense of developing their life) typically when they are either pushed or pulled to do so.  

A pulling force is parallel to motivation. There are many types of motivation, both internal and external, but let that be discussed for another time.  A pushing force is usually a kin to when you find your life has given you a kick in the pants.  Sometimes it's small causing a small rift, and sometimes it's big, causing a sense of failure or disappointment.  

While they both can be catalysts to movement and change, it is often more uncomfortable to be moved through some sort of life failure, then through a personal desire or goal.  Nonetheless, they both create opportunities for nuance, self-reflection, and redirection.  

The secret is in knowing how to utilize and identify the opportunities to your advantage and growth.  Often times, particularly when we are faced with a life push, we can run the risk of being thrown onto the wrong direction, or be too preoccupied in focussing on the chips and dents we have gained from the push and not noticing the paths that have opened up.  

This is even more so if you have never experienced a push, and have operated primarily under a pull.  Failures can be very testing of self-esteem, self-worth, trust (in yourself and in your life), and forces you to invoke perseverance and strength. If one does not know how to properly utalise and evaluate the push force, they can find themselves moved, but into a dark place.  

As an example of a push, say one has been let go at work. This is a period of great change in the individuals’ life.  This can cause shock (if it came as a surprise), financial hardship, embarrassment, and so forth.  One’s life will almost certainly be moved.  But how?  Would that result in developing bad habits to numb the emotional hardship and realities of life, or will one take up another dissatisfying job without attempting to find something they truly are fulfilled by, simply for the sake of security?  This is one direction.   Another could be one using it as a period of reflection, perhaps an opportunity to redirect their career, pursue education, find something else they truly like to do, or start something they have been too afraid to ever start before (perhaps a business).  The essence is one will react.  Pusheswill come in many ways and in many areas of one’s life. 

Note sometimes a force can be so strong it can take you in several directions before you land again.  You may be flying in what you might find the wrong direction for you, but you can still redirect your angle from the original push force, and change.  

A sense of failure or life shock can be very difficult if it comes novel to you, but for almost everyone, it is inevitable.  It is better to embrace them as opportunities as self-growth, rather than allow them to control where you land.  One can use both a pull and push force to its fullest extent positively for their development. Not only is self-growth and life improvement often exponential, but you may also find a great sense of self-trust and strength.  This is because you will feel whether it is a pull or a push, you have the tools and confidence to handle it.  

I believe despite pushes tending to be more difficult to work with, as it may be harder to know the direction its taking you at first, it also tends to be a stronger and faster force for change than a pull.  Not being afraid of it, and learning to handle it, is extremely beneficial to one’s life.

Navigating what is perceived to be a failure or setback as a catalyst to change is not easy.  One must understand their own emotions, mind set, learn from the experience, and be confident enough to move forward in a healthy and productive manner that brings acceptance and growth. Coach Avy can assist you with individualized coaching in developing the best skills, mind set, and strong spirit required for handling life’s pushing forces. Coach Avy can also assist you with working through a specific life experience as well, where you may come out the other end stronger. 

To book a session, go to coachavy.com on the “contact” page and email.  Spaces are limited.  May be covered by your insurer. Check with your insurer.